Saturday, February 13, 2010

Love Language #8: Acts of Service

According to Gary Chapman, the guy who came up with all of this stuff in the first place,

"Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an 'Acts of Service' person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: 'Let me do that for you.' Laziness, broken commitments and making more work for them tell speakers of this language that their feelings don't matter."

We arrive at the end of our [modified] list of love languages on the eve of Valentine's Day. If you know that your beau is a speaker of this language and you've been waiting anxiously for this post, the good news is that this love language requires no last-minute purchasing of gifts. Chances are, if you decide to do something within this realm as a Valentine's Day gift for your significant other/beloved/beau/whatever he is, it can be done the day of - or even better, throughout the year when least expected (which is generally most appreciated as well).

Granted, this love language truly depends on the personality and responsibilities of the person who speaks this language. And extra points if both you and the other person speak this language - this will be somewhat intuitive for you. But here are a few ideas from your lovely muses, just in case you need a nudge in the right direction.

Washing/cleaning out his car
There are some men who will kick, scream and declare mutiny if you move anything that belongs to them (my father included). So proceed with caution if this is the case. But chances are, the back seat of his car may be a veritable train wreck - scattered papers and notes, old take-out bags, a shoe here or there, gym clothes, extra batteries, a can of Coke that rolls underneath the seat and goes "clunk" every time he comes to a full and complete get the idea. Do him a favor by returning these items to their rightful place, or just moving them aside while you give the car a scrub. You can do the work yourself - or take it to a detailing shop. There's a reason the car got this dirty, and if he had more time he would have done it himself by now. Spare him the trouble and let him know you not only noticed, but did something about it.

Figure out the deets
Maybe it's a movie that both of you have wanted to see for awhile; or a museum that you'd like to visit; or even a trip you've been wanting to make. Don't wait for him to figure it all out - if the burden of responsibility in planning usually falls on him, take the reins and do it yourself. You'll reel him right in when all he has to do is enjoy the experience.

Make the call
Maybe your husband has a personal goal to contact his parents/grandparents/siblings on a regular basis - but some weeks go by when it's so busy that even making a phone call seems like a chore. If your relations with your in-laws are favorable, give them a call or drop a note to them in the mail. You just bought him another week - and he'll be touched by your thoughtfulness and initiative.

Shovel out the car
Perhaps this is fresh on the east coast muse's mind due to the huge dumping of snow this winter. But the other day there was a girl on our street shoveling out the car - and she was doing it for her boyfriend as Valentine's Day gift! Anyone who has ever done any kind of shoveling of snow knows that this is a big deal - particularly if aforementioned vehicle is stuck underneath two feet of the packed-in stuff. Now granted, she had my husband to help her. But the bottom line is that she recognized one of her beau's burdens, and she took care of it for him. That's love if I ever saw it.

We're certain that there are a dozen other little tasks that you can come up with that would give the object of your affection relief if you did it for him; this smattering of ideas is just to get your ideas flowing.

Happy, Happy Valentine's Day from your lovely muses - and please, feel free to post a comment or send us an e-mail letting us know how you were able to use the ideas listed in this Love Languages Series. We had fun with this, and hope you did too!

The Muses

1 comment:

  1. I think y'all did a GREAT job with the "Love Languages" series. Great modification of Chapmans work!!